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A Black Painting

by yakul

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4010
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4010 Noodly emo revival in the screamo style, alternately harsh and beautiful. FFO: good times, Things Fall Apart, foxtails Favorite track: Two Part Season Finale.
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1.
I am a liar a taker a thief I don't love, I don't change Reduce my life to black and white A current pulls me down, why should I struggle What can I do to make you take this from me? Alone in a room stained with bad memories And wasted hours spent scribbling things on a page Thoughts trickle back to the thing I resent About myself and the things that I lack Things haven't really gotten worse but I have and I know it
2.
Fade to black, title card: "the end" Where is the ambition? Is it lost in silence? Where are the chances? Are they lost in translation? Where are the options? Are they there to begin with? Where are your hands dragging you down towards? Thirty minutes down to ten, I think you're getting too good at this. Thirty minutes down to ten, the only thing you ever practice. Gnaw your seams Clear cut; cynical and clean Use your hands You are already dead Count your breaths until you sleep Splotchy red hands, face white as a sheet Afraid of losing ground you take Nothing lost, nothing gained
3.
Let's take turns to see how bad it can get Self fulfilling prophecies show me just how empty I am A repeated diatribe: a story of failure I don't try to better myself and devour my anger My guts rot, all I do is drag my corpse Regurgitating words that mean nothing to you. Floating on forms I don't question anymore Please don't be honest with me Feathering a nest, but choking on dirt I can't grieve Let's take turns to see how bad things can get Let your friends deal with the rest of your shit I was once able to close my eyes And imagine what my future might hold Now I can't even bring myself To imagine anything at all Everything’s fallow, everything's fake Each promise I make proves false in the end Vomit up lies, choke on regret Abandon your family and friends Here lies the boy who wept for no one And whom no one will weep for Here is the place where I buried the questions That I wanted to ask Here are the people I hinder That understand I'm something awful Here are the hopes that I held onto, with wishes that they might bloom Less than nothing, choking on dirt
4.
Burn every bridge before you cross it Every path I could take I ruined Every well I could drink from I instinctively poisoned Catharsis could never offer relief I ignore the passing of days the passing of weeks I turn away before people even start to speak to me Life doesn't change but I struggle to simply remain Regress to the point of shame Give up, get worse, decay
5.
Gutted like a fish, nothing will go back in It doesn't fit, it won't fit Battle ready armor but how will it help When there's no one left to deflect? Craft stances and statements in your head Flinch and let silence hang over instead You hate yourself for those years you threw away Watch in horror as one year becomes three So I'll set myself ablaze and hope times goes by quick Stuck in a loop, is it wrong to want to escape? There's an end to my self destruction, and I will call it by its name. An end to all of my doubts, that end is escape
6.
Just Ray Romano (free) 03:38
Born of anger, bored of bare truths I spit on the world, devoid of my youth To be buried, forgotten, in the yard My self expression does not deserve to be called art This is my war, to claw out a meaning To burrow through the husk of life and be relinquished from dreaming My destruction lacks any poetry A cry for help in a lucid dream Like a bug down the shower drain What use are my skills? What use are my wings? Lack of creativity, no process Just anger thrown into a current But this is mine! The ink on the walls means I'm alive For a second I have worth For a second nothing matters These are my black paintings Let them rot in my house Let the paint chip and the colors fade Let them burn down And when I'm dead and gone I hope I leave without love And I hope these still remain This is mine, and mine it will stay

about

These songs were recorded in a basement in 2018-2019 by four sad friends. Thank you to all of our friends for helping us make this possible, we love you ❤
~
Burn down an art gallery

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released May 10, 2019

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yakul Grand Rapids, Michigan

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